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These couple are featured to inspire you to believe that by God’s grace it is possible to wait to have sex after marriage. You and I have been called to be the light of the world (Matt 5:14), and that we must be and do by God’s grace.
It’s not too late to make a decision either.. Even if it hasn’t been the case in the past, as couples have shared here previously, it’s very possible to begin anew and let God give the grace!
Today, Tosin and Lanre were featured on the blog…….you are so gonna love their ‘Awww’ love story of how they met, plus you will have many things to laugh about too…enjoy!
Hello Mr and Mrs Oladapo! It’s a real delight speaking to you today. Thank you very much for taking out time to share with us. Could you please tell us about yourselves?
Tosin: Hello everyone! My name is Tosin Oladapo, I am married to my first boyfriend, a wonderful man, my sugar banana, my sweetie, my most cherished coco. He is God’s special gift to me and we have been married for seven wonderful years (2007) and every day I keep thanking God for making me marry my own.
I am a full business woman, I am into shirt customising /Printing/Signage. I love to bake and I also love to make up for people. I am an addict of Jesus Christ, He is my number one Hero, I love LOVE, I like to have fun and I love having people around me. I cherish friendship and I like people that are real. I am not a sport person like that, I watch football when I want to encourage my sweetie so I am a Chelsea fan, lol.
Lanre: My name is Oladapo Olanrewaju Kolade, I come from Ire in Osun state (Nigeria). I am the third born of a family of four and was born on the 11th of May. I grew up in a very military conscious environment. I am a Chartered Accountant and I work with SuperSports Nigeria as the Finance Manager. My favourite food is Rice and Plantain (if you want to make my day, make sure there’s plantain). My favourite colour is green, favourite football club is Chelsea. I love travelling, teaching, talking and meeting people. I have been married for the past 7 years to the only official person I call my best friend.
Love the introduction! Great to meet you Lanre and his best friend So Lanre, how did you meet your best friend?
Lanre: Well it all started in September 2000. I had registered to sit for the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN) exam and I spent the period in her house because her elder bro and I were preparing for the same exam. We were reading together and I also wanted to escape from home lol. Prior to this time, I had had a private conversation with God in 1998 as He was my only friend and in one of the conversations, He told me to write certain qualities I wanted to see in my wife. I didn’t take it seriously until my Uncle in America called that year and in the course of our discussion asked – “Lanre, Iyawo nko?” (Lanre, how about getting a wife?) I hadn’t spoken with him in 10 years! I knew it was God speaking through Him. I wanted to give God a tall order so I went through the place in the bible that talks about a good woman and I picked out 20 characteristics thinking “Since God is the one that sent me, this is my recommendation/specification”. I said to Him “If she doesn’t exist on earth, you have to draw her from heaven, if not I don’t need to marry” (I knew my relationship with God as my Father, so I could talk to Him as a son). I never approached a woman without presenting her to God first.
Tosin: Hnnnmmmmm…. Can I still remember? *smiles* How can I forget my teenage love story…
Alright! We met over 15years ago at my house, he was actually my elder brother’s friend. I liked him the very moment I set my eyes on him, it was like love at first sight lol. Dreams do come true oh! I was less than 15years old at that time and I secretly admired him…. (Covering my face…chai!)
Note: Don’t underestimate teenagers o….lol
He was ‘Uncle Lanre’ to me then (it was customary to call older people ‘Uncle’ as a sign of respect), we weren’t friends, he was more like a ‘big bros’ to me and he was closer to my two elder sisters.
I got attracted to him more when he came to my Secondary School to re-sit an examination, I was in SS 1 then. He was very neat and kind of different, I don’t know if it was because he was ‘baba dudu’ (very dark-skinned), lol or because of his carriage. What struck me most then was when he got on the assembly stage to preach and everybody would go quiet and listen attentively (this was unusual in my school!)
After my graduation from Secondary School (2000), I was home when I saw ‘Uncle Lanre’ with a bag and I was told he would be spending some days in my house in order to study for the ICAN examination with my brother.
I was so excited about it, it was like a dream to me. As God would have it, my elder sisters were not around for him to gist with so he became friendly with me and started sharing God’s word with me. Infact I used to call him ‘spiritual brother’ because he didn’t know how to gist or say anything other than preaching.
To be sincere, all the preaching then did not enter my head, I just liked the fact that he was always talking to me. In my mind I was like “Doesn’t this guy have any other thing to say other than to preach??”
Anyway, I was very glad at that time because my dad as a military officer was on transfer so he was not in Lagos and my mum was an early sleeper so you can imagine the free time lol
When he finished his exams and was about to leave I was not happy at all because I had gotten so used to him and the attraction was very strong. I was 16 years old at this time.
We communicated afterwards through letter-writing as we didn’t have mobile phones at the time. As usual, he was preaching and encouraging me in his letters. However, to my surprise, in the 5th letter or so, he was friendly and started becoming more personal, he asked me out on the 4th of November 2000 and I said YES with so much joy in my heart. (See child abuse o, I was just 16 and he was 19years old!) He was obviously my first boyfriend and I was his first too. We dated for 7years and we got married in 2007.
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Wow! Very interesting story. I smiled throughout 
Lanre, what was going through your mind over this period? How did little sister (or shall we say convert) become ‘potential’?
Lanre: One Saturday, I was going out with her brother. I passed by the bathroom where she was cleaning. As I walked past, God said to look again. I saw a spotlight shining on her and I just knew she was special. I said “God I’m so sorry, You have chosen the woman for me so I will go through the process.”
I started by writing a letter to her. I was very scared because with it, she would have physical evidence to show the fellowship if she wanted to report me. You see, I was an ‘exco’ (leader) in the fellowship and she was a member and I didn’t want any trouble with the fellowship.
My first 3 letters were exactly the way Paul wrote to the churches lol (that was the only way I could write). I think in her third letter, she said “I am not saying that you shouldn’t encourage me oh but you can talk about personal things” – she was teaching me. I was happy because this was Holy Spirit ‘expo’ (insight). We exchanged over 200 letters! Hers were definitely more than mine lol. I didn’t know that letter writing was one of the best ways of expressing herself.
Lanre, what was going through your mind over this period? How did little sister (or shall we say convert) become ‘potential’? Lanre: One Saturday, I was going out with her brother. I passed by the bathroom where she was cleaning. As I walked past, God said to look again. I saw a spotlight shining on her and I just knew she was special. I said “God I’m so sorry, You have chosen the woman for me so I will go through the process.”
I started by writing a letter to her. I was very scared because with it, she would have physical evidence to show the fellowship if she wanted to report me. You see, I was an ‘exco’ (leader) in the fellowship and she was a member and I didn’t want any trouble with the fellowship.
My first 3 letters were exactly the way Paul wrote to the churches lol (that was the only way I could write). I think in her third letter, she said “I am not saying that you shouldn’t encourage me oh but you can talk about personal things” – she was teaching me. I was happy because this was Holy Spirit ‘expo’ (insight). We exchanged over 200 letters! Hers were definitely more than mine lol. I didn’t know that letter writing was one of the best ways of expressing herself.
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Lanre: I found her very attractive. Physically, I was attracted to her lips, her eyes, her legs. I liked the way she looked.
Tosin: What attracted me to my sweetie apart from his eyes (lol) was his passion for God, he was very disciplined, focused and very humble.
Nice!! A man that fears God is to be loved
How did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him?
Tosin: I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my husband at that age because he behaved very mature. He was very focused, disciplined and humble .He was somebody I could allow to lead me because of his passion for God, Infact he made me who I am today, he was like an elder brother to me that led me in the way of God.
I watched the way he behaved to others, he was always there for people, he is someone you can go to sleep and rely on.
I watched the way he behaved to others, he was always there for people, he is someone you can go to sleep and rely on.
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Lanre: I ordered for some sexual padlocks (kidding).
Tosin: For me, to abstain from sex was something I had purposed to do from a very young age. What was difficult was trying not to touch and kiss. 7years of seeing each other regularly was no joke! And you know you can’t kiss without touching – that was the challenge.
We were making ‘no-touching’ rules and breaking it, asking God for forgiveness, but God saw us through so that we never gave in to the pressure.
In addition, we had people that were looking up to us and we could not afford to disappoint them.
Lanre: It was not very easy, we had issues – Sometimes, she would be in my house and then rain starts falling (lol). I would make some passes and she would say “Don’t worry, I am all yours when we get married, you will have free rein.” We helped each other but she was mainly the one who calmed me down.
In addition, one of my relationship mentors Pastor Bimbo Odukoya used to say that in a relationship if all you think about is sex, sex, sex, then break up! – This one that I had confirmed with God and her, I would rather think about other things than break up with her! Practically, we tried to keep ourselves busy. We used scriptures, it didn’t work. We also consciously planned other fun activities (games) while we were together to engage us so that we were not left idle.
When it was time to stay away from me, she did. It wasn’t easy but it had to be done!
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| Licence to HOLD! |
Thanks for being real with us. Thank God for grace to stay true to Him. Now that you are married, what advice would you give your single self?
Tosin: Look out for a guy that has the fear of God, someone that is passionate about the things of God, someone that is responsible, one that you can trust with your life and that will tell you the truth no matter what. Also, be observant of the way he treats others.
Lanre: Majority of the time, what breaks a relationship and practically a marriage is the man choosing to opt out. If the man insists he wants it to work, it will work.
Men, have you heard? Lol.. What is the best part of being married?
Lanre: Too many things to mention! First, my wife is not just the description of favour she is favour personified, Ever since I got married, things I struggled with became faster than ever! Doors were opening for me. My wife is a wonderful prayer partner!
Also, there’s rest of mind and satisfaction that comes with marrying your best friend, every day is different. There’s something new each day. I find myself rushing home from work each day to meet with a wonderful person because each day is different. She is fun to be with! No 2 same days
I have to mention this, she has improved my fashion sense! I used to dress like ‘Broo’ – I just wore clothes to cover me, whether it was in or out of vogue. My wife upgraded me up and brought out the gold in me! Right now we have to chase away the vultures who want to reap where they did not sow. Lool.
Finally, her openness – She said to feel free to tell her anything, whether good or bad. It has paid off for me. Now I tell her things not because I need to tell her but because it is my deliverance! But me I tell her “don’t tell me your own, I can’t handle it!”
Tosin: The best part of being married is having someone that loves you and that’s got your back covered, someone to sleep with and wake up with, Someone that loves God and puts you first even before himself.
Tosin: Look out for a guy that has the fear of God, someone that is passionate about the things of God, someone that is responsible, one that you can trust with your life and that will tell you the truth no matter what. Also, be observant of the way he treats others.
Lanre: Majority of the time, what breaks a relationship and practically a marriage is the man choosing to opt out. If the man insists he wants it to work, it will work.
Men, have you heard? Lol.. What is the best part of being married?
Lanre: Too many things to mention! First, my wife is not just the description of favour she is favour personified, Ever since I got married, things I struggled with became faster than ever! Doors were opening for me. My wife is a wonderful prayer partner!
Also, there’s rest of mind and satisfaction that comes with marrying your best friend, every day is different. There’s something new each day. I find myself rushing home from work each day to meet with a wonderful person because each day is different. She is fun to be with! No 2 same days
I have to mention this, she has improved my fashion sense! I used to dress like ‘Broo’ – I just wore clothes to cover me, whether it was in or out of vogue. My wife upgraded me up and brought out the gold in me! Right now we have to chase away the vultures who want to reap where they did not sow. Lool.
Finally, her openness – She said to feel free to tell her anything, whether good or bad. It has paid off for me. Now I tell her things not because I need to tell her but because it is my deliverance! But me I tell her “don’t tell me your own, I can’t handle it!”
Tosin: The best part of being married is having someone that loves you and that’s got your back covered, someone to sleep with and wake up with, Someone that loves God and puts you first even before himself.
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| *All Smiles* |
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Tosin and Lanre are such a joy to be with and their love for God and each other shines through.
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