LIFESTYLES OF SEXUALLY CONNECTED COUPLES: WRITTEN BY FUNMI AKINGBADE!

Many men will give anything for their penis to be sucked. They should tell their wives. So also, many wives want their clitoris to be actively involved and they should inform their husbands. If there is something your partner craves, try to satisfy him or her. They will be more willing then to satisfy yours.

Learn new types of touch. If you just grab your partner the same way every time you want sex, you’re going to wear out your welcome and quickly, too. Touch can be very healing and when you understand that affectionate touch can enhance closeness and trust, you’ll see more passion develop in your relationship.

Be open to new experiences. It is good sometimes to change and be open. This shows that you are attentive, trusting, and curious and you want to grow together. So go ahead, give yourself permission to experiment.   You might even surprise yourself as this is one way to explore your sexuality. If that is your own special knowledge of what turns you on, you won’t know unless you try.   Passion soars to an unimaginable dimension when spouses validate one another by things like, “You’re a gorgeous lover. Really. Yes could I ask you something? When you kiss my breast, go a little softer. My nipples are raw from your beard and teeth; have you forgotten you are not meant to bring out breast milk? Hmm, you are so remarkable, your rod always beats me hands down.’’

Learn how to apply all types of kisses on the lips, penis, clitoris and breasts. Be a good kisser as kissing promotes intimacy and passion.   A deep kiss can express deep love; don’t underestimate its power. The fleeting touch of the lightest kiss can have more meaning than a big, sloppy wet one. Experiment with your kisses and go light, firm, lick, tickle and suck deep.   Have real sex; don’t make pornography your yardstick. Movie industry makes people think that passionate sex happens instantly, with three minutes of foreplay and simultaneous orgasms. Pornography is even worse. Nobody could possibly be comfortable in some of those positions, let alone aroused. Never make your bed a stage; one way to spoil a passionate sex is to focus on performance. If you are worried about yourself, how you move, what you look like, whether you are pleasing your spouse like an expert, you’re focusing too much on you and not enough on your spouse. This makes your performance to suffer.   Instead, enjoy your experience each moment as it unfolds. Focus on the beautiful touches, amazing sight of, for instance, how your husband’s penis stands rigid when it is erect, or praise the way your wife’s vagina swallows up your penis completely. Make sure passion is your focus, not your performance. Explore the erotic information; this is different from pornography. Pornography serves one purpose: to excite the viewer. Erotic movies, photos, stories, and poems go further. Erotic material explains why someone feels the way they do. Emotions such as love, longing and passion are expressed.

To have passionate sex, you need to take your time and build arousal. Arousal leads to better orgasm.   The passion that you see in the movies is choreographed as carefully as any dance. Choreograph your own love to whatever rhythm you wish for more explosive orgasms. Make it a habit to respect each other. Did you know that just a few negative comments, criticism could cause a woman to have difficulty with orgasm or a man to lose his erection?   No matter how strong or self-confident they may seem, people are very vulnerable about their sexuality and sexual organs. In a culture where people are expected to be naturally good lovers, sexual confidence is actually quite low. Help build your partner’s sexual confidence at all times in an open, loving, and respectful manner.

It is very important to have sex regularly. Regular sex is a little exercise that is good for your relationship.   Research has shown that couples that have regular sex look, on average, 10 years younger than their peers. Regular sex enhances sound sleep, diminishes pain, reduces stress, improves mood and balances hormones.

Sex is more than body parts and friction. Think of love making as a skill; there is always something new to learn. Married couples should always know that being a good lover should come naturally, especially when they relax but more also when they learn. Passionate sex is a journey, not a destination. Sex is not all about orgasm at the end but about the experience that you gain in the process.

Questions and Answers

I always lose erection while putting on condom

We have a peculiar case at hand; all other family planning methods are not okay for my wife. It is either she develops varicose vain or she starts seeing blood all through the month or she vomits and spits all over the place. The only option we are left with is the use of condom but I have discovered that as soon as I put it on, I lose erection. My wife thinks we are under a spell, can this be true?

Mr. Allen Jacobs

No, you are neither under a spell nor are you alone in this type of situation. Some men lose erection during or after putting on a condom. If your wife reacts to chemical or synthetic family planning method, why not try out the female condom instead? Its failure rate is very low when properly inserted and it also offers protection from STDs. It is made from a very thin, lubricated material that doesn’t decrease sensation, and in most cases, it eliminates erection problems.

Sex and flooded nose, are they related?

I notice that each time I have sex, I immediately have flooded nose.

This has been on for a while now. Sometimes I feel very tired, lose taste or smell; everything tastes the same. If I do not quickly use some antibiotics, I will start coughing and develop sore throat, headache, pain and sometimes fever. Must this be so? Can’t I enjoy sex without drugs?

Bashir Baba Bashiru

This may be a sign of sinusitis and it may be as a result of allergy to lots of things such as stuffy air, odour from sweating and some characteristic odour from perfume, body roll-on, vaginal discharge, sperm fluid and so on. Sinuses are like fingerprints, tiny, hair-like structures which help move mucus. Sinus cavities connect to the nose to allow a free exchange of air and mucus. But when these sinuses get infected or when there is a presence of allergies, sinus tissues become inflamed, red, and swollen. Sinusitis usually starts with inflammation triggered by a cold, allergy attack or irritant. Most people have a stuffy nose and pain or pressure in several locations around the face or teeth. There’s usually a nasal discharge that may be yellow, green, or clear. Other symptoms may include fatigue, decreased sense of smell and/or taste, cough, sore throat, bad breath, headache, pain on bending forward, and fever.

You have to try and study the irritation or allergy triggers and avoid them. Besides, try and take some drink like hot tea prior to the time of sex and try to inhale the steam from the tea at the same time. This helps relieve congestion, while swallowing the fluid soothes the throat and keeps you hydrated. Black and green teas have the added bonus of being loaded with disease-fighting antioxidants, which may fight colds. Breathing in menthol or camphor vapours may also help relieve cough or open clogged passages and ease symptoms of congestion. I think it is not wise to use antibiotics as they do not treat viruses. They won’t help the sinus symptoms of a cold. But rather use any mild antihistamines especially for symptoms of sneezing and flooded nose. Pay good attention and make sure it does not become a recurrent thing because chronic sinusitis may be very difficult to treat.

A first step is controlling predisposing factors such as eliminating environmental irritants.

My wife wants sex only during ovulation

Why does my wife feel sexy only during the time of her ovulation even though we are not preparing 

for more children? I notice that the only time my wife will show sign of wanting sex is whenever she is in her ovulation period. Every other time I have to plead, beg and bribe.

This is a natural way of preparing for pregnancy. Actually when women are ovulating, they’re drawn to men while men are also drawn to women who are ovulating. Besides, her sex drive is also at the peak just before and after she ovulates. Because the oestrogen increases, they respond more to touch too, and find it easy to get aroused. The ovulation also increases more oestrogen which also means more blood flow to the vagina, and more lubricated vagina and less painful sex. This is when they feel hornier than ever and it is natural for them to give all sexual signals.

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About Unknown

Deji Sadiq, a.k.a DEJI OF LAGOS is a LASU trained Economist turned freelance journalist, a Blogger, an information strategist, a public affairs analyst and a committed activist with a passion for equal opportunities.