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Human sexuality is the capacity to have erotic experiences and responses. It is also a way someone is sexually attracted to another person. There is no doubt that sex is good for married lovers, but sex in the atmosphere of love is even better. Husband should start off sex by stimulating his wife’s heart and stop focusing more on manual stimulation. Openness toward one partner leads to the most beneficial kind of sex that a couple can ever imagine. In marriage relationships, passionate sex is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade when deep intimacy is lacking, because intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually while passion develops too fast.
One important outcome of having intimate sex between married lovers is emotional safety. If you feel like your spouse understands you and you understand him or her, you are more prone to showing your true sexual feelings. And if you show your true feelings, closeness and intimacy on all levels will be very obvious in your relationship.
But what is intimacy? Most couples seem to define intimacy as two married lovers engaged in hot and passionate sex, or something very close to this. But the truth is the experience of physical connection between two married lovers is only the culmination of all that is intimate between them. Intimacy is much more than that.
Intimacy is an attitude. It’s how you get along all the time, not only when you’re making love. It has to be continuous in order to be fulfilling, and if you truly want to enjoy great quality lovemaking, the hours outside the bedroom should be spent with the same degree of closeness. Fortunately, achieving that is not impossible. I have a few tricks that I am willing to share with you. You can thank me later.
Sensitivities, consideration, respect and affection should be a mutual give and take in marriage I call this emotional workout for couples. Did you think that bonding happens just like that, without any exterior influence? No. There are plenty of things that you can do to strengthen your relationship. This mutual give and take will help you become relaxed in the presence of each other and attuned to your heart rhythms. It involves a lot of touching because due to the high level of stress a typical Nigerian couple face on a daily basis, I think affectionate touching has a real calming and soothing effect on the psychic of spouses. So on occasion when you both are home together or around each other, lie on your sides with your legs bent so that you fit together like two spoons in a drawer. Once you are snuggled together, lie still, letting go of any tensions and try not to talk or move too much. Breathe heavily and rhythmically and listen to your partner’s breathing at the same time. Close your eyes and let your imagination travel down memory lane when you both were still dating and confessing undying love for each another. You’ll feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You can choose to spoon either fully clothed or in the nude, but refrain from sexual intercourse. This type of affectionate display is just meant to bring the two of you closer together.
On weekend days when you both are not under any pressure to go to work or attend occasions, just lie together on the bed or whatever feels comfortable for you, and look into each other’s eyes. Don’t talk; just watch each other in silence. It might feel uneasy at first, [because according to research, married couple hardly look into each other’s eyes as they used to while newly married] you might be shy about it, or feel exposed, out in the open, but it’s a great exercise for really bonding on a subconscious level also. Doing this, you and your partner will soon rediscover the richness of your unspoken communication and the way your eyes speak to each other without uttering one single word. There are varieties of these; husband, you can sit with your back against the wall of your room or a garden chair and have your wife put her head on your chest and wrap her arms around you. Share this embrace for few minutes. Close your eyes, listen to each other’s breathing, feel each other’s warmth, feel your hearts beat. She can pass her fingers up and down your back, while you can stroke her shoulders, neck, face and hair. These mutual embraces send the message of being reciprocally taken care of, which is a great deal as far as intimacy is concerned. Please husbands, note that most time your wives put their heads on your chests or shoulders and rub your back or body, they do not necessarily want sex but bonding. They want to feel you belong to them; they want to reassure themselves that such moment is exclusively for them and no one should share such moment with them.
Another variation of this is for husband to lie on his back on the bed and have your wife lower herself gradually on top of you, from head to toe. Don’t worry, it’s not uncomfortable, and it’s surprisingly efficient. Holding her whole body against yours, you are like you are in control, and she’ll feel like she can depend on you no matter what. The benefits are not only psychological, but physical because this position is extremely relaxing for the spine. This is not only a good roadmap to a splendid sex but eventually leads to good passionate sex.
Active penetrative sex can also be done while amusing your wife; you don’t have to be too serious, just start by gently pushing her against the wall, start kissing her quietly while placing your right hand on her thigh and slowly lifting it up till you could feel her soft inner genitals then start massaging it slowly. Then move your hand right deeper into her genital area, placing your thumb and index finger on the clitoris making sure that the clitoris is in between your thumb and index finger. Continue with the massaging and while massaging the clitoris, your middle finger should be busy driving in and out of the inner genital in a smooth manner.
While still kissing her, you can slowly move her closer to the bed and on getting to the bed, gently push her on it, then pull away from her, go down a bit and pull her panties off, with your wet tongue start licking the inner genital, make her open her legs wide as your tongue keeps massaging her clitoris. Simultaneously keep on rubbing her clitoris till she feels like pushing you off. While this is going on, you can then insert your middle finger deeper into her inner genital and finger her in a slow but romantic manner while your other hand should be tapping on her erected nipples. Then lift her up in a sitting position making her hold on your own genital and caress it or suck it.
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